【TED影片-07】筆記與反思
Julian Treasure (朱利安·特里亞瑟勒)
How to speak so that people want to listen
怎麼說話人們才想聽
<演講重點筆記>
【Seven deadly sins of speaking 說話七宗罪】
1. gossip. 說長道短
Speaking ill of somebody who's not present. Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.
我們在別人背後指指點點， 這是個壞習慣。 如果有人在我們面前搬弄別人的是非，那麼五分鐘後他就會在別人面前評論我們。
2. judging. 評斷
We know people who are like this in conversation, and it's very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you're being judged and found wanting at the same time.
很多人在交談時都很喜歡評判。 如果別人在說話時批評你， 或認為你能力不足， 你就不會願意聽他講話。
3. negativity. 負面
You can fall into this. My mother, in the last years of her life, became very negative, and it's hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her, "It's October 1 today," and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?"
你也可能陷入這種狀態。 我母親晚年時的心態變得非常消極， 沒有人願意聽她講話。 有一天我對她說： 「今天是10月1日了。」 她說：「是啊，很糟吧？」 大家可不想聽那麼消極的人說話。
4.complaining. 抱怨
this is the national art of the U.K. It's our national sport. We complain about the weather, sport, about politics, about everything, but actually, complaining is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.
這已經成為了一種英國文化。 這是全民運動，我們抱怨天氣、 抱怨比賽、抱怨政治，抱怨一切。 但抱怨是病毒般的災難。 因為你沒有把溫暖和光明帶給他人。
5.Excuses. 找藉口
We've all met this guy. Maybe we've all been this guy. Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don't take responsibility for their actions, and again, hard to listen to somebody who is being like that.
我們都碰過這種人。 也許我們都曾找藉口開脫。 有些人老是找替死鬼， 他們推諉塞責， 不為自己的言行承擔責任， 我們不太會去聽這種人說話。
6.embroidery, exaggeration. 花言巧語、過於誇張
It demeans our language, actually, sometimes. For example, if I see something that really is awesome, what do I call it?
And then, of course, this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us.
這可以說是對語言的褻瀆。 假如一個說話誇張的人， 遇到超讚的事， 那麼他還能用什麼形容詞呢？ 其實，語言過分誇張就是欺騙， 不折不扣的謊言， 沒有人喜歡聽騙子的話。
7.dogmatism. 武斷
The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you're listening into the wind. You know, somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true. It's difficult to listen to that.
真相與見解混淆不清。 這樣講話只會成為別人的耳旁風。 就像有人用自以為是的觀點炮轟你， 很難有人想聽他說話。
【HAIL 說話的「HAIL」原則】
H：honesty 誠實
Be straight and clear. 真實無扭曲且清晰
A：authenticity 誠懇、正心誠意
Be yourself. 如同對自己誠實
I：integrity 廉正誠實
Be your word 言行一致
L：Love 愛
Wish them well. 幫助別人、成就他人
【Toolbox 說話的工具箱】
1.Register 音區
for example. Now, falsetto register may not be very useful most of the time, but there's a register in between. You can locate your voice, however. So if I talk up here in my nose, you can hear the difference. If I go down here in my throat, which is where most of us speak from most of the time. But if you want weight, you need to go down here to the chest. You hear the difference? We vote for politicians with lower voices, it's true, because we associate depth with power and with authority. That's register.
在講話時，假音往往不太有效，因此我們應當使用較為適中的聲區。其實，我們可以自己調整發聲位置。如果我透過鼻腔發聲，你就會聽出不同；透過喉嚨發聲是這樣的，在座大多數人通常都透過喉嚨發聲。但如果你想加強聲音的厚重感， 就可以透過胸腔發聲。 你能聽出區別嗎？ 我們會把票投給嗓音低沉的候選人， 這是真的，因為低沉的嗓音 會讓人們想到力量和權威。這是「聲區」。
2.timbre. 音色
It's the way your voice feels. Again, the research shows that we prefer voices which are rich, smooth, warm, like hot chocolate. Well if that's not you, that's not the end of the world, because you can train. Go and get a voice coach. And there are amazing things you can do with breathing, with posture, and with exercises to improve the timbre of your voice.
也就是嗓音帶給別人的感覺。研究顯示，我們偏好如同熱巧克力一般 豐富、流暢、溫暖的嗓音。你沒有這種嗓音也不要緊，可以透過訓練改變，可以尋求聲樂導師的幫助。你也可以在很多方面下功夫，比如呼吸、姿勢以及勤奮的練習，這樣你就能改善自己的音色。
3.prosody. 抑揚頓挫
This is the sing-song, the meta-language that we use in order to impart meaning. It's root one for meaning in conversation. People who speak all on one note are really quite hard to listen to if they don't have any prosody at all. That's where the word "monotonic" comes from, or monotonous, monotone. Also, we have repetitive prosody now coming in, where every sentence ends as if it were a question when it's actually not a question, it's a statement?
And if you repeat that one, it's actually restricting your ability to communicate through prosody, which I think is a shame, so let's try and break that habit.
這就好比是歌唱， 它能使語意層次分明， 這是談話中表達意義的根本。單一的語調很不利於他人聆聽。缺乏抑揚頓挫就不會收到理想效果，這會讓世界變得平淡而單調。 但也不要頻繁而重複地使用語調，不要在每句話的結尾使用升調，讓人誤以為是疑問句，其實那只不過是陳述句而已。重複地使用語調會侷限原本該有的溝通效果，那就可惜了，所以我們要改掉這種習慣。
4.Pace. 語速
I can get very excited by saying something really quickly, or I can slow right down to emphasize, and at the end of that, of course, is our old friend silence. There's nothing wrong with a bit of silence in a talk, is there? We don't have to fill it with ums and ahs. It can be very powerful.
我能表現得非常興奮， 只要用極快的語速講話； 也可以放慢語速，就能有強調的效果。 接下來，我要介紹經典的一招： 「沉默」。 在講話中適時地沉默片刻 並無不可，對吧？ 為什麼要使用無謂的「嗯」和「啊」呢？ 沉默才更有力量。
5.pitch 音高
pitch often goes along with pace to indicate arousal, but you can do it just with pitch. Where did you leave my keys? (Higher pitch) Where did you leave my keys? So, slightly different meaning in those two deliveries.
並用「音高」與「語速」時， 往往能喚起聽者的注意， 只有音高也有效。 你把我的鑰匙放在哪兒了？ 你把我的鑰匙放在哪兒了？ 這兩句話的意思 是略有不同的。
6.volume. 音量
(Loud) I can get really excited by using volume. Sorry about that, if I startled anybody. Or, I can have you really pay attention by getting very quiet. Some people broadcast the whole time. Try not to do that. That's called sodcasting,
這樣大的音量讓我顯得非常興奮， 非常抱歉嚇了你們一跳。 我也可以把聲音放輕， 吸引你們的注意力。 有些人總是聲大如雷， 請不要這樣， 這就像在公共場所用手機放音樂， 漫不經心地強迫他人聽你的音樂， 這不太好。
【Sum up 結論】
What would the world be like if we were speaking powerfully to people who were listening consciously in environments which were actually fit for purpose? Or to make that a bit larger, what would the world be like if we were creating sound consciously and consuming sound consciously and designing all our environments consciously for sound? That would be a world that does sound beautiful, and one where understanding would be the norm, and that is an idea worth spreading.
如果我們講的話影響力強大， 讓別人樂於傾聽， 而且各種外在條件也適合我們講話， 那麼世界將會如何？ 如果擴大範圍來講，如果我們有意識地發出聲音、 有意識地接受聲音，並且很好地設置各種外在條件方便聲音傳播，那麼這個世界將會如何？ 這個世界將處處洋溢著美好的音符。在這個世界中，相互理解就是標準和規範。這是個值得分享的點子。
<反思>
- 說話，是一門需要練習的技巧。要讓聆聽的人願意聽，首先要改掉不好的說話態度與習慣(說話七宗罪)。生活中，請特別留意自己是否不自覺犯了七宗罪而不自知。
- 和人交談，貴在誠實正直。說話原則雖是不能說謊，但有些時候要怎麼讓聽的人聽到真話又不會被刺傷，需要更高的說話智慧。例如：用「很特別」取代「不好看」，「你這樣會更好」取代「你這樣不好」。
- 調整說話的音色和音區，對我而言有一定的難度。然而，抑揚頓挫、語速、音量和音調，我則認為是可以練習的。練習讓自己說話有音頻，帶感情，而不是像死人一樣平淡。
- 說話一直是我的弱點，有些時候我甚至覺得說話很麻煩。然而，如果能用語言改變一些事、影響一些人，讓溝通更順暢，讓這世界更美好，那麼人生肯定也會變得更有意義，所以，今天起，可以我決定開始做一些影片中建議的說話練習。
- 可以做一些和人對話的案例筆記，再檢視調整。
<講者書籍>
How to Be Heard: Secrets for Powerful Speaking and Listening
https://www.books.com.tw/products/F013979170 (目前只有英文版)
<補充書籍>
說理I+說理II (原文作者：Jay Heinrichs)
https://www.books.com.tw/products/0010809002
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